Lessons from rom coms previously summarized here

Sabrina, 1954: If you go bonkers for a guy, his hotter smarter older brother will marry you.

Pillow Talk, 1959: Lying to a lover about your identity is a good idea.

Working Girl, 1988: Lying about your identity at work is a good idea.

When Harry Met Sally, 1989: That guy you hated in college is your best bet.

Pretty Woman, 1990: Capitalism.

The Cutting Edge, 1992: Lying about your feelings is the only way to start a lasting relationship.

Groundhog Day, 1993: Andie MacDowell has excellent hair.

Sleepless in Seattle, 1993: You should drop everything when you think you might be in love with a stranger you heard once on the radio.

Speechless, 1994: Insomnia = true love.

The American President, 1995: The traffic in Dupont Circle is a nightmare.

French Kiss, 1995: Lying about your identity and criminal behavior will lead to true love in a vineyard.

While You Were Sleeping, 1995: Lying about your relationship with a man will lead his brother to fall in love with you.

Sabrina (1995): Going bonkers for a hot guy means his older hotter smarter brother will move to Paris with you.

Clueless (1995): It sucks when you fall for someone who isn’t into your gender.

One Fine Day, 1996: People who hate each other should be together forever.

The Truth About Cats and Dogs, 1996: Lying about your identity is a good idea if you don’t look like Uma Thurman.

My Best Friend’s Wedding, 1997: Screwing up your best friend’s wedding means your other best friend — the gay one — is going to have to come bail you out.

Ever After, 1998: Lying to a prince about your identity is a good idea.

You’ve Got Mail, 1998: When a women learns a man’s true identity, capitalism.

10 Things I Hate About You, 1999: Grumpy people deserve each other.

Never Been Kissed, 1999: If you lie about your identity when you’re a reporter, it’s fine as long as you write a story explaining what you did.

Notting Hill, 1999: We are supposed to believe Hugh Grant is only a mild asshole.

She’s All That, 1999: It’s okay to lie to someone about your intentions — really, it’s fine as long as you fall in love at the end.

What Women Want, 2000: The only way a man will ever treat a woman right is if he is struck by lightning while using cosmetics for the first time.

Serendipity, 2001: Just don’t go to 59th Street, okay?

Kate and Leopold, 2001: True love is a sham.

Bridget Jones’s Diary, 2001: Renee Zellweger gained a bunch of weight to look normal, because skinny women aren’t neurotic.

The Wedding Planner, 2001: J. Lo can be in rom coms too.

Maid in Manhattan, 2002: Capitalism. Lying about your identity is a good idea, particularly if you’re a hotel maid, because eww.

How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days, 2003: Rich people lie about their intentions all the time. Also true love is a sham.

500 Days of Summer, 2009: This is not even a movie.

Miss Banana Biker

Miss Banana Biker: An anagram for Sabrina Kim Banes. Also on Twitter.